Opening Our Hearts
Erik and I have discussed throughout our relationship that we both felt that ministering to children outside of our own family was important to us. We've discussed different ways we would accomplish this. Youth ministry within our churches was one way, me providing childcare in our home was another. A far off "one day" option was Foster Care. Far off as in our children would be much older and we'd have lived through most of the elementary school years to have considerable experience under our belts. Having once worked in a system with Foster families and foster children, I am aware of the challenges of foster care and have felt that to be fair to our children, waiting until they didn't need us so much would be ideal.
Ten little toes.
A dear friend of ours (referenced in this story as E) works for a foster/adoption care agency and we've talked with her over and over how "one day" we'd be interested in welcoming Foster children into our home, etc. She tells us stories of how foster families are needed, never pressuring us, but saying, "You guys would be a great Foster Family" and then leaving us to pray about it. Through her encouragement and our own prayer, we started to come around to the idea of starting the process a little earlier than we thought and tossed around the idea of doing foster care for children under 2 or on a respite type basis which would be very short term.
Through a series of "coincidences" it became very clear to us that God was telling us it was time to start the Foster Care process. It mid-June and Erik was home waiting for the veteranarian to arrive to look over our goats for the Big Butler Fair. It was just after noon and he came into the house asking to borrow my cell phone because he could not find his. He was headed back out to the barn to call his phone because he thought he dropped it in the manure. While he was walking back to the barn, he tried calling our friend, N, whose son boards his goat with us and who was going to show his goat too. The Vet was going to check that goat as well, and we needed to have her registered name on the Vet papers. When our friend N didn't answer his phone, Erik then used my phone to call his wife, E, who at the time was at work at her agency in a meeting where they were discussing the fact that they had had a call from another agency looking for a foster home for an infant. Erin looked at her phone, saw that I (Erik) was calling her and a light bulb went off. Shortly after that, she called me and said that they were looking for people to foster an infant and since we thought we might like to care for infants she wanted us to know. Erik and I talked about it, prayed about it and we both came to the conclusion that God was telling us to get the process started. We both knew that we wouldn't necessarily be blessed with a child right away, but if nothing else, we could get certified and then take it from there.
So we did. A few days later, we went to the agency, signed the papers, and over the coming days had our criminal backgrounds checked, had our home checked out and a water test completed. The water test failed. Twice. We're waiting for the results of the third test.
Then last week, we got a call from one of our coordinators who said that another agency was looking to place a baby girl. They didn't have many details but the placement would occur Monday and we were to assume the placement would be for three months, but to be aware that all details were dependent on the hearing on Monday. If we were interested, we should come to the hearing on Monday. In the meantime, we were cautioned that over the weekend, things could vastly change and nothing was definite. I spent the weekend in anticipation yet preparing for the worst. Finally, Sunday after we dropped Maggie off at Pymatuning to camp with Mimi and her cousin, I asked Erik to stop at Walmart to buy size 1 diapers. Just in case. And I allowed myself to get a little excited about the potential of a new baby in the house.
The next day, I continued to allow myself to feel more excited and I began some preparations. I dug out the bassinet from the attic and searched through my bin of keepsake clothes and found lots of adorable newborn outfits for a little girl. I didn't even realize I had saved so much for Maggie! That afternoon, after washing blankets and clothes and bedding, Erik and I went to the hearing and due to extenuating circumstances, had to leave before we knew the fate of the baby! Talk about torture! We ended up going home and about an hour later, our coordinator called to let us know that we would have the baby for just five days instead of the three months that we had anticipated. It was a little discouraging, but I quickly realized that this was a blessing from God as we learned that there was a little more involved in the process than we anticipated.
So here we are, four days later, basking in the pink presence of a baby girl in our house again.
Ten little fingers.
Ten little toes.
Everyone has fallen in love with her.
It's going to be quite an adventure, this journey of the heart we are embarking on.
There are going to be lots of highs and lots of lows. We're trusting that God will guard our hearts and protect us from heart ache as we tend to these little lambs and then send them on their way. The future is unknown for us and for them. There are so many things we have double and triple and quadruple thought about in terms of exposing our family in this way. The bottom line is that despite the probable (definite) heart ache, we believe it is our purpose to provide love and care for children by opening our home and our hearts.
This was a light week for me in general because the children were taking turns camping with Mimi, so I didn't have a full plate of children to tend to, so tending to an infant was much easier. Also, prior to Monday, were told baby would have visitation with her bio parents once a week, but it turns out it was three times a week, so that would have been difficult (but manageable) to figure out. Additionally, we knew we had a week of travel/vacation planned and coordinating how to work that out with the visitation schedule was going to prove very difficult. I think also, God is blessing us with just a little taste of what this is going to be like for us. Because of the camping trip, none of the children but Whit had much more than 36 hours with baby in the house. That gave them just enough time to love on her, but not too much time to become too attached. Walker and Will were able to kiss her goodbye and head out for their camping trip - a welcome distraction, especially for Willie who was absolutely wonderful with baby girl. Walker enjoyed her too, but was kind of over the whole crying thing. Willie, however, was a champ, telling me that he would take care of her and he never ever would mind if she cried.
Maggie got to meet her yesterday and hasn't left her side. More blessings came this week as a school friend called to plan a play date with Maggie so she has something fun to look forward to after saying goodbye. And even I won't have too much time to wallow in goodbye as I pack up the few baby things and get our family packed for a trip to Hershey with my mom and sister and then for a separate end of the week trip to NY and Lake Chautauqua.
It's a scary adventure we're on. But one I know will be well worth the journey.
Winding Down
I was looking at my calendar yesterday and realized there are only three weeks left of non-school filled summer for us.
This is breaking my heart.
I am not ready for summer to be over. I know, I should focus on the three weeks we have left, but when you factor in the week we will be spending at the Butler Farm Show, the preschool orientation, the Kindergarden orientation, and the last few appointments we have of the summer, there aren't many days left! Even though there have been days where my kids are picking and fighting, screeching and screaming, whining and begging, I am not ready to pack them back up and send them on the bus/drive to preschool.
I was cleaning out some old folders yesterday and came across this "letter" from a newsletter of a MOPS group I used to attend. It was kind of my unofficial motto for summer without me even knowing it. I gave up on any heavy duty chores for the summer, which is why my house now looks like I am prepping for an episode of hoarders . The cobwebs are killing me! I literally have them everywhere. In fact, I left my Kitchen Aid mixer on my counter last night and this morning there was a cobweb from the mixer to the cabinet!
I was talking to a friend yesterday who told me she had spent an unreasonable amount of time at a local shoe store trying to get her four children fit into sneakers for the coming school year. As she told the story, I vowed that I will not take my kids back to school shopping. They don't need anything and I am going to try to avoid the realization that school is going to start as long as possible. As I finish out these fleeting summer days, I am going to keep this letter on my refrigerator to remind me that these days are going by way too fast and my job is to create memories and have fun with my kids.
Just for this day.
Just for this morning, I am going to smile whenever I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you wake up softly, all rumpled in your flannel and I will hold you until you are ready for the day.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you outside to play.
Just for this morning, I am going to eat a huge breakfast , with bacon eggs, toast and waffles, and you don't have to eat any.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the
computer off, and sit with you in the garden blowing bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to 'fix' things.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you put all kinds of barettes in my
hair, and put lipstick on my face, and I will tell you how pretty you have made me look.
Just for this afternoon I will take you to McDonalds and buy us both a Happy meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born, and how much we love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the bathtub and not get angry when you throw water over your sister's head.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the
porch swing and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours and miss my favorite show on t.v.
Just for this evening, When I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers who are visiting their their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer, and when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then that I will thank God for you, for all that I have and not ask for anything, except . . . just one more day.
When everyone is in school, I will have time to tediously clean my house, clean out the kitchen cabinets and wipe down all the contents, and do all the mundane cleaning I feel that I should do now. And someday, no one will be here except me and Erik, and I will be like our neighbor and invite the neighbor kids down to play because even though I haven't vacuumed in a month, there are no foot prints in the carpet.
So, today, when I thought I was going to "crack down" in an attempt to get our lives back on track, I looked at this letter again and decided the kids didn't have to match their clothes, comb their hair, or clean up the playroom like I had originally intended. I will do the chores that must be done (if I don't fold and put away clothes today, no one is going to have any underwear) but after that, we will see where the day takes us. Because all too soon, I am going to be telling them, "In just one more day we go back to school."
This is breaking my heart.
I am not ready for summer to be over. I know, I should focus on the three weeks we have left, but when you factor in the week we will be spending at the Butler Farm Show, the preschool orientation, the Kindergarden orientation, and the last few appointments we have of the summer, there aren't many days left! Even though there have been days where my kids are picking and fighting, screeching and screaming, whining and begging, I am not ready to pack them back up and send them on the bus/drive to preschool.
I was cleaning out some old folders yesterday and came across this "letter" from a newsletter of a MOPS group I used to attend. It was kind of my unofficial motto for summer without me even knowing it. I gave up on any heavy duty chores for the summer, which is why my house now looks like I am prepping for an episode of hoarders . The cobwebs are killing me! I literally have them everywhere. In fact, I left my Kitchen Aid mixer on my counter last night and this morning there was a cobweb from the mixer to the cabinet!
I was talking to a friend yesterday who told me she had spent an unreasonable amount of time at a local shoe store trying to get her four children fit into sneakers for the coming school year. As she told the story, I vowed that I will not take my kids back to school shopping. They don't need anything and I am going to try to avoid the realization that school is going to start as long as possible. As I finish out these fleeting summer days, I am going to keep this letter on my refrigerator to remind me that these days are going by way too fast and my job is to create memories and have fun with my kids.
Just for this day.
Just for this morning, I am going to smile whenever I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you wake up softly, all rumpled in your flannel and I will hold you until you are ready for the day.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you outside to play.
Just for this morning, I am going to eat a huge breakfast , with bacon eggs, toast and waffles, and you don't have to eat any.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the
computer off, and sit with you in the garden blowing bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to 'fix' things.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you put all kinds of barettes in my
hair, and put lipstick on my face, and I will tell you how pretty you have made me look.
Just for this afternoon I will take you to McDonalds and buy us both a Happy meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born, and how much we love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the bathtub and not get angry when you throw water over your sister's head.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the
porch swing and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours and miss my favorite show on t.v.
Just for this evening, When I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers who are visiting their their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer, and when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then that I will thank God for you, for all that I have and not ask for anything, except . . . just one more day.
When everyone is in school, I will have time to tediously clean my house, clean out the kitchen cabinets and wipe down all the contents, and do all the mundane cleaning I feel that I should do now. And someday, no one will be here except me and Erik, and I will be like our neighbor and invite the neighbor kids down to play because even though I haven't vacuumed in a month, there are no foot prints in the carpet.
So, today, when I thought I was going to "crack down" in an attempt to get our lives back on track, I looked at this letter again and decided the kids didn't have to match their clothes, comb their hair, or clean up the playroom like I had originally intended. I will do the chores that must be done (if I don't fold and put away clothes today, no one is going to have any underwear) but after that, we will see where the day takes us. Because all too soon, I am going to be telling them, "In just one more day we go back to school."
Al Fresco
We did something tonight that we haven't done in a long time.
It was a little bit risky. It was something we used to do all the time. It didn't involve much clothing.
We even let the kids join us.
It was a little bit risky. It was something we used to do all the time. It didn't involve much clothing.
We even let the kids join us.
We finally got to eat our dinner outside on the deck!
No long sleeves, not coats, not hats, mittens or snow pants. Boots were still involved, but boots are a staple of our clothing at the farm.
It was amazing!
It was one of those glorious days where the temperature was perfect, the sunshine was so very welcome, and being outside was truly a joy. The kids played outside all day, which made me VERY happy because I had forgotten how clean my house can stay when NO ONE IS INSIDE ALL DAY! Woo-hoo! I did a few chores with limited interruption, was able to start a few projects as well as enjoy a little time outside. Hooray!
I could really get used to this.
The only drawback of the day? An annoying woodpecker pecking the side of our house waking us up early! As Maggie said, "Yeah, that woodpecker kept me up ALL morning!" He sure did make sleeping difficult, and I am afraid he may have done some damage to our lovely exterior. Obviously, he couldn't damage the look of the house, but I do think he managed to put a good hole in the insulbrick. Of course, it had to be on the side of the house where reaching the 2nd floor is all but impossible without some sort of bucket truck. I have a feeling he'll be visiting us again tomorrow morning and then my day will include a trip to Agway to see if I can buy one of those silly plastic owls to hang out of Maggie's window in the hopes of scaring the woodpecker away. The frustrating part is that it's not like we aren't surrounded with 20 acres of woods, some of which we specifically avoided timbering so that we could provide an ecosystem for the variety of animals already in residence on our property. We have on tree in particular that we've seen many redheaded woodpeckers utilize but not this guy.
It looks like tomorrow will shape up to be very similar to today. I can't wait. I'm hoping Erik will have time to finish this big hole he started to dig in the back yard. Details regarding the hole to come soon!
Idlewild Trip 2
This past week, Erik surprised us and took us on a trip to Idlewild. We got there just as the park opened, and we headed straight for the kiddie rides. First stop - a trolley type car that all three could ride. We were off to a good start.
Next, Walker asked to ride the bumper cars. Do you see all of the other kids riding too? His precise reason for wanting to ride them at this point, despite protests from me and Erik? He didn't want to BUMP INTO ANYONE!
I'm not sure of the philosophy of that one, but if that's what made him happy we let him do it!
Poor Willie was not old enough to ride many rides by himself or even with Walker as a companion. The Bumper cars was one of those rides. Doesn't he look so pathetic and adorable as he stands on his tip-toes to watch "brubby." Don't you just want to scoop him up and make the ride attendants let him ride too? This boy keeps me on my toes.
Walker & Will get to ride on the airplanes,
the vintage cars and
the flying dragons.
Here is what Maggie did while the boys went on all of these rides. She heard us say something about swimming and she is waiting to go swimming. Fun will not commence until we are swimming. She will not eat, she will not drink, but more importantly, she will not have any kid of fun, thank you very much, unless we go swimming. We practically dragged her onto the Mr. Roger's trolley into the land of make-believe, and the train. She only went with us because Momma & Daddy were riding those rides too and she didn't want to be left behind.
Walker and Will drove the grand prix.
Willie gets a kiss on the train ride around the park.
To end the adventure, Maggie & Walker did ride the carousel.
Poor Willie was not old enough to ride many rides by himself or even with Walker as a companion. The Bumper cars was one of those rides. Doesn't he look so pathetic and adorable as he stands on his tip-toes to watch "brubby." Don't you just want to scoop him up and make the ride attendants let him ride too? This boy keeps me on my toes.Walker & Will get to ride on the airplanes,the vintage cars andthe flying dragons.Here is what Maggie did while the boys went on all of these rides. She heard us say something about swimming and she is waiting to go swimming. Fun will not commence until we are swimming. She will not eat, she will not drink, but more importantly, she will not have any kid of fun, thank you very much, unless we go swimming. We practically dragged her onto the Mr. Roger's trolley into the land of make-believe, and the train. She only went with us because Momma & Daddy were riding those rides too and she didn't want to be left behind.Walker and Will drove the grand prix.Willie gets a kiss on the train ride around the park.To end the adventure, Maggie & Walker did ride the carousel. 
Maggie finally conceded and did one final ride - but only because we went to the "soak zone" and played in the pool. Did I mention that the pool was freezing cold - the kind of cold that takes your breath away and you wade through the water gasping and yelling at the same time, "ugh, ah, ugh, ah, ugh, ah!" because the water is so cold it is slowly freezing your blood and you lose all ability to function until A) you submerge your entire body and start swi
mming or B) get out of the water, wrap yourself in a huge beach towel, and sit shivering until the ice crystals break and blood circulation returns to normal.
How my itty-bitty children that have like less than 10% body fat managed to play in that frigid water all afternoon is beyond me. I do know we had to force them from the water park because their lips and fingers were turning blue and they were starting to look like extra's from the "Night of the Living Dead" movie. A final ride, some cotton candy and the day was complete. We were so busy we never even made it to Storybook Forrest. Maybe next year.
Welcome
Hi!
I've been reading other blogs lately and decided it was really something I should do to keep family and friends outside of our little 40 acres updated on our lives. I also thought it would be a great way to journal our life here at Goodness Grows Farm - you know - something to show the kiddos someday. Let the adventures begin!
It's Father's day here and Erik & the "big" children are out at the goat barn. One of our nanny goats we've affectionately named "Tank" keeps escaping. Erik is stumped at how she is escaping. I just think she is pushing against the gate hard enough to squeeze through. Goats must be like cats in that if they can fit their head through an opening, their entire body will fit through it. It is a riduculously annoying feature.
What's new around here? Not much. Summer is in full swing now - Erik is busy with the landscaping and the farm. I am busy keeping the children busy - I must remember to be sure to use two different terms - "children" will describe our human children and "kid" will refer to our goat babies. Forgive me if I forget to use the distinctions - I will rely on your common sense to differentiate between the two should I forget.
Anyhoo - it has been very hot & humid the last week - humid to a distraction! Friday (the 13th) we went to the local water hole to swim. Of course, true to my luck, we were there only an hour when the skies opened up and started raining. The nice lady refunded our money so we would come back. The children LOVE the kiddie pool they have. It is really a lovely pool for us to go to. Today is much less humid after yesterdays downpours.
Yesterday was an exciting day for us - Mimi found a playhouse for the children at an Amish auction and Erik borrowed a large trailer and went North to pick it up. It is still on the trailer now waiting for the ground to dry up so we can attempt to put it where I want it. Of course, I can't just pick a nice easy place - Erik will have to use the skid loader to haul it up the hill to the "play area" that we have created just outside of the sunroom. Walker was so excited. He drove up with his dad to get it and came back to town with Mimi and told me excitedly, "And it even has a lock on the door!" He's very into locks and creating privacy. He's started banning Maggie May from his room. I think it is more about the pleasure he gets from banning her, hearing her cry, then he generously allows her entrance into his room. Of course, Drama Queen Maggie can't let a minute go by without having some attention from her "brubby."
Little Willie J has started crawling and is ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! In fact, he is stuck under my chair now. And he is whimpering which indicates he is ready to eat and take a nap. Which means this first blog is done. Yay!
I've been reading other blogs lately and decided it was really something I should do to keep family and friends outside of our little 40 acres updated on our lives. I also thought it would be a great way to journal our life here at Goodness Grows Farm - you know - something to show the kiddos someday. Let the adventures begin!
It's Father's day here and Erik & the "big" children are out at the goat barn. One of our nanny goats we've affectionately named "Tank" keeps escaping. Erik is stumped at how she is escaping. I just think she is pushing against the gate hard enough to squeeze through. Goats must be like cats in that if they can fit their head through an opening, their entire body will fit through it. It is a riduculously annoying feature.
What's new around here? Not much. Summer is in full swing now - Erik is busy with the landscaping and the farm. I am busy keeping the children busy - I must remember to be sure to use two different terms - "children" will describe our human children and "kid" will refer to our goat babies. Forgive me if I forget to use the distinctions - I will rely on your common sense to differentiate between the two should I forget.
Anyhoo - it has been very hot & humid the last week - humid to a distraction! Friday (the 13th) we went to the local water hole to swim. Of course, true to my luck, we were there only an hour when the skies opened up and started raining. The nice lady refunded our money so we would come back. The children LOVE the kiddie pool they have. It is really a lovely pool for us to go to. Today is much less humid after yesterdays downpours.
Yesterday was an exciting day for us - Mimi found a playhouse for the children at an Amish auction and Erik borrowed a large trailer and went North to pick it up. It is still on the trailer now waiting for the ground to dry up so we can attempt to put it where I want it. Of course, I can't just pick a nice easy place - Erik will have to use the skid loader to haul it up the hill to the "play area" that we have created just outside of the sunroom. Walker was so excited. He drove up with his dad to get it and came back to town with Mimi and told me excitedly, "And it even has a lock on the door!" He's very into locks and creating privacy. He's started banning Maggie May from his room. I think it is more about the pleasure he gets from banning her, hearing her cry, then he generously allows her entrance into his room. Of course, Drama Queen Maggie can't let a minute go by without having some attention from her "brubby."
Little Willie J has started crawling and is ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! In fact, he is stuck under my chair now. And he is whimpering which indicates he is ready to eat and take a nap. Which means this first blog is done. Yay!